Feature Article - What Do You Want

Serving Alcohol Can Serve Up Some Wedding Disappointments

Most couples planning a wedding have the eventual task of deciding on whether they will have a dry or alcohol permitted wedding service. For those who prefer not to have alcohol for personal, religious or economical reasons, you are not quite out of the woods yet in terms of whether certain persons will seek out the adjacent bar, tavern or take a trip before showing up. This article is not to bash the use of alcohol at a wedding in as much as it is here to serve up your game plan on how to deal with the situation of handling both those who enjoy it as well as those who enjoy it too much.

In many cases, couples plan on a cocktail hour immediately following the religious or civil ceremony. This keeps guests occupied and enjoying the lull while you as the couple are having the marriage license signed and taking professional photographs indoors with family members and others. It is often considered a courtesy to provide this diversion and most adults may not like soft drinks, tea, coffee or other beverages.

The challenge that can develop in a wedding situation centers around your knowledge of your guests and their personal alcohol consumption habits. The majority of guests have the common sense not to get intoxicated and risk being involved in an auto accident on the way home. Others may use the wedding as an excuse to drink until they drop. We all have been to the parties when there is that one or two who make fools of themselves and become the entertainment for everyone (except fo the host who usually is a bit embarrassed and is kept wondering how to get this person home safely afterwards). There are also those who have a problem with alcohol - yes, we can say that they are the alcoholic (whether diagnosed as such or not). In the two latter cases, these are the people to get a handle on for your day. These are the people that you may want to have a polite talking to before the wedding so that they do not harm themselves or ruin your special day.

What comes next is not one wedding experience but rather many situations that can unfold when you hold a ceremony at a restaurant or hotel in the same room as where the reception is to be. Ask yourself the question, "Do you want this happening at your wedding?" One of the dads has to be held from falling over as he is signing the wedding license, a groomsman is shouting out various things to the bride and the groom during the ceremony (some of which may be quite inappropriate or raunchy for the day and clergy present). a maid of honor getting out of line while standing up and walking behind the head table to do whatever, an usher having a bottle of beer and drinking while the service is taking place, guests not taking their seats for the start of the ceremony but just standing around talking loudly with each other, bartenders clinking glasses as people keep going for more, and the list goes on. These are just some of the things that can happen and are probably funny when you see it on a video of someone else's wedding - but will it be funny or in poor taste when your day comes????

Much of this can be eliminated by following a few pointers. First, we have already mentioned that you may need to speak with those you suspect may arrive intoxicated so they do not cause you embarassment. Secondly, you may want to cut the cocktail hour down to simply 30 minutes. This and the option of having a limited bar of wine or other options can also help your budget. After the wedding ceremony is finished, it is natural for guests to wish to enjoy the celebrating part and having a bar available is customary. For those on a strict budget, you may elect not to have one and to have the word get spread or mention in invitations that the facility does have a lounge somewhere else on the premises for those who wish to partake in these beverages.

Probably the worse decision is to allow an open bar prior to the wedding ceremony itself and to schedule the wedding to begin 30 or more minutes after guests are due to arrive. This is a recipe for disaster and the examples cited above were generally due to alcohol being available prior to the service. If unruly behavior is acceptable, the ceremony does not matter much to you and this would be considered all just a bunch of fun, then by all means, serve it up.