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Here's This Month's
ADVANCED ISSUES
Feature Article
Memorials and Remembrance Dinner Tributes
For some of you reading this article and seeing the upcoming holidays and onset of winter approaching, it is a time of reflection. Have you lost a parent, friend, spouse or family member this year or in the recent past? Those having quite large families and networks of friends probably are thinking of multiple persons who have passed to the life beyond. This can be a time of joy or sadness, anger or resentment, fear or uncertainty AND all of one's emotions running together at the same time. With holiday music and smiling faces of shoppers greeting you as you go from day to day and thoughts of planning a get together in your home or away, it is no wonder that one can feel confused about how one should feel. It is a joyous time of the year yet someone dear will not be there to share it with and laugh or make that silly typical comment or expression.
December and the first several months of the new year can be particularly hard for individuals who discover that the weather has closed doors to friendships and traveling is not a welcomed option. But, this IS when you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps and become active anyways. One terrific way to do this is to recognize that we do have a wonderful season ahead, holidays to enjoy and memories to share of those not with us. Those who have passed would not want us to grind through the holidays mourning them - they would rather look down upon us seeing that we are able to move forward.
One great way to spend these months is by paying tribute to those loved ones who have passed by organizing a Remembrance Dinner or Memorial Celebration. Think about this loved one and find a reason to hold a tribute soon. Maybe it was this person's love of the holiday approaching, a thrill for winter sports, a birthday coming up, a special award given years ago at this time of year or something else. Who would you invite - family only, best friends, co-workers, club members of the loved one, school chums, etc.? Would you think this person would like to have it inside at home, at a restaurant or out in the brisk air of your local park? You can set this up to be as lavish or simple as you deem appropriate. The main thing is that you are making this for that special person and the memories that you all have gathered.
Often food and beverages of various sorts are served and decorating is best to have a theme that the person would have loved. It may be a favorite hobby or pastime, sports team or passion for sewing (it doesn't matter even if you just bring together many of the person's likes and interests). Another component of a Remembrance Dinner is whether you wish to have a clergy person to come over and offer prayer, readings or other memorial remarks. Like an actual eulogy conducted at a funeral, one or more persons can come forward to speak on different subjects in testimaony of this person, too. All of your ideas can come together for the making of a wonderful Memorial for a loved one that all guests will appreciate having been asked to attend.
Those who have passed are still held in our hearts. Our memories do not disappear just because they are gone. While you miss this person dearly, you can still enjoy the holidays among the living and put time aside to pay honor to those not with us. During the holidays, remember to say a few words of thanks to this person looking down from above and you will be heard AND use this time to let others know of your thoughts for putting together a beautiful Memorial later in the season for a loved one. Our time on this earth is for an unknown duration but our relationships with loved ones go on forever. Make time for reflection and celebration for both the living and deceased using the joy and love in your heart as your guide.
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